I hit submit! I am officially signed up for my first 8k! As soon as I completed the registration the ball of anxiety came back. That stupid anxiety that I had before my first 5k last year. I can do this! I know I can.
I just hope I am not dead last. That would suck.
When I posted on FB that I was signed up, my SIL chimed in with her well wishes...and then 20 minutes later she was posting that she signed up and was going to run it with me. Ok, on one hand, I'm so happy to have another race experience to do with her. I know she is in a little bit of a slump workout wise and so I am grateful to have a buddy in this. On the other hand, I'm slightly bummed that I am not going to run this one on my own. I think she also feels slightly guilty about ditching me in the Ugly Sweater Run in November but I was honestly ok running on my own.
I'm not a fast runner. I am not a good runner either. She can run laps around me. And she can talk while running. That's something that I haven't mastered other than, "gaaah, want run slow(gasp)er in min? hhhuu?" And she's great about taking it at my pace. I just get self-conscious. I don't like feeling like I hold anyone back. I will be fighting to keep on pace with the allotted time for the race - which is far from an elite pace. She's a great motivator though and I love her to death so in the end I know it will be fine. I think I fear disappointing or frustrating her and that is stupid because we're very close. So I need to just shut the hell up and realize that I'm only causing myself needless stress ;-)
See, I just needed to talk it out.
Excuse me while I go hyperventilate.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
Tomorrow = 1st 2014 Sign up Day!
Eeek! Tomorrow is the Big Day - it's sign up day for the BoA Chicago Shamrock Shuffle 8k!It's first race of 2014 that I will run and it's also the longest race I will have run to date!! At just a teensy-tiny shade under 5 miles, I have some serious training to do!
This bitter cold isn't helping the motivation much either. Today our high was somewhere around -13 with wind chills at -50. It was horrible. I've never experienced such cold (that I can remember). I don't even want to go into the basement to use the elliptical right now either because it's cold down there. Can't it be warm already?? I want to actually run outside. I swear when we finally get some random 35 degree day I might be crazy enough to head out for one. I know there are people that run in this all the time but I'm still a newbie. I have my training wheels still on ;-) If anything, I think I will start on Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred tomorrow. I didn't complete it last time around but I did see results, no doubt about it.
I know that the Shamrock sells out so I hope that I don't run into any issues tomorrow when signing up...wish me luck!
This bitter cold isn't helping the motivation much either. Today our high was somewhere around -13 with wind chills at -50. It was horrible. I've never experienced such cold (that I can remember). I don't even want to go into the basement to use the elliptical right now either because it's cold down there. Can't it be warm already?? I want to actually run outside. I swear when we finally get some random 35 degree day I might be crazy enough to head out for one. I know there are people that run in this all the time but I'm still a newbie. I have my training wheels still on ;-) If anything, I think I will start on Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred tomorrow. I didn't complete it last time around but I did see results, no doubt about it.
I know that the Shamrock sells out so I hope that I don't run into any issues tomorrow when signing up...wish me luck!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Happy New Year!
Hello 2014!!!
I am happy to report that even though I indulged a bit (ok, I was plowed) last night, I am not hungover and looking forward to a fabulous year ahead.
Naturally this is my weight related resolutions post. You wouldn't expect anything less today now would you? Please help keep me accountable! I want to be looking back at this post in 364 days and thinking, "Damn, you did good."
I am setting the bar high this year for all my resolutions - not just the health related ones. I am dubbing 2014 "The Year of Personal Health, Happiness, and Commitment."
1) Be 50 lbs lighter. That is a tad over double my loss for 2013. It's less than a pound a week. It is a big number to shoot for. I'm nervous but I know it needs to happen.
2) Run at least 3 races: at least one 5k, one 8k, and one 10k.
3) Fit into a size 14 in time for wedding season. My SIL's wedding is in mid-May and my step-sister's in mid-June. I am in both weddings: co-Matron of Honor for SIL and reader for stepsis. I want to look half decent in pictures.
4) Continue to eat and drink sensibly. Keep up on the great job I've been doing of staying hydrated with plenty of water. I need to continue working on portion control. Consumption of carbs and sweets needs to be lessened.
5) Lower my BMI. It has to be under a specific number in order to do IVF at my clinic instead of a hospital. Each clinic is different and some don't have restrictions but I would like to be at a BMI of 34 by the time we do IVF. That still leaves me in the obese category but it would be a major improvement from where I sit at 40.1.
6) Lower my WHR (Waist-to-Hip Ratio). This is important to me because of the strongly linked fertility implications. The optimal ratio is 0.7 for females. Right now I am at .99. Not good at all. Any improvement is good. I don't think I want to set a goal number for this year but just say that getting to .7 is the end goal. For more about this see: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waist%E2%80%93hip_ratio" target="_blank">Wikipedia's WHR page.</a>
7) Be good to this blog. I don't want this to become a neglected blog. I want to continue to be honest about where I am - good or bad progress. I hope that there is someone out there that can find themselves relating to where I am, or have been, or where I am going and wants to continue reading my shenanigans. I will continue to strive for total transparency. It's hard. Very, very, very hard to show all the "bad" in an open forum like this. Nobody wants to share their embarrassing facts and "ugly" pictures. But if I can do this, maybe I can help not only myself but someone else.
Well, that's of them. Can you believe those are only my health related ones??? Well, here we go 2014!
I am happy to report that even though I indulged a bit (ok, I was plowed) last night, I am not hungover and looking forward to a fabulous year ahead.
Naturally this is my weight related resolutions post. You wouldn't expect anything less today now would you? Please help keep me accountable! I want to be looking back at this post in 364 days and thinking, "Damn, you did good."
I am setting the bar high this year for all my resolutions - not just the health related ones. I am dubbing 2014 "The Year of Personal Health, Happiness, and Commitment."
1) Be 50 lbs lighter. That is a tad over double my loss for 2013. It's less than a pound a week. It is a big number to shoot for. I'm nervous but I know it needs to happen.
2) Run at least 3 races: at least one 5k, one 8k, and one 10k.
3) Fit into a size 14 in time for wedding season. My SIL's wedding is in mid-May and my step-sister's in mid-June. I am in both weddings: co-Matron of Honor for SIL and reader for stepsis. I want to look half decent in pictures.
4) Continue to eat and drink sensibly. Keep up on the great job I've been doing of staying hydrated with plenty of water. I need to continue working on portion control. Consumption of carbs and sweets needs to be lessened.
5) Lower my BMI. It has to be under a specific number in order to do IVF at my clinic instead of a hospital. Each clinic is different and some don't have restrictions but I would like to be at a BMI of 34 by the time we do IVF. That still leaves me in the obese category but it would be a major improvement from where I sit at 40.1.
6) Lower my WHR (Waist-to-Hip Ratio). This is important to me because of the strongly linked fertility implications. The optimal ratio is 0.7 for females. Right now I am at .99. Not good at all. Any improvement is good. I don't think I want to set a goal number for this year but just say that getting to .7 is the end goal. For more about this see: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waist%E2%80%93hip_ratio" target="_blank">Wikipedia's WHR page.</a>
7) Be good to this blog. I don't want this to become a neglected blog. I want to continue to be honest about where I am - good or bad progress. I hope that there is someone out there that can find themselves relating to where I am, or have been, or where I am going and wants to continue reading my shenanigans. I will continue to strive for total transparency. It's hard. Very, very, very hard to show all the "bad" in an open forum like this. Nobody wants to share their embarrassing facts and "ugly" pictures. But if I can do this, maybe I can help not only myself but someone else.
Well, that's of them. Can you believe those are only my health related ones??? Well, here we go 2014!
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Holiday Success
I have escaped the holidays with no weight gained! As an adult, that is honestly a first for me. Even back in my thinner days, I'd put on 5 or so but then I would be working out right after so it would come off instantly.
That's my victory for the week, lol. I did a bunch of walking while home in Chicago. We went to the Brookfield Zoo Holiday Magic light festival on Friday and I got plenty of steps in there! It was so pretty - I think we might make that an annual event.
I can't wait to really start using our new Y membership. I found some classes that sounds interesting to me and that will work with my schedule. I can't wait to use the indoor track to do some actual running. I still haven't ventured into running outside in the freezing cold and on snow packed country roads.
I did get some Kohl's gift cards for Christmas that I plan on using for workout gear. I normally just work out in old shorts and t-shirts so being around the house in them is no big deal. Being in public is another thing entirely. My future BIL bought me my long coveted gym shoes. I know I will have a hard time bringing myself to actually wear them outside of the house as I want them to last forever, lol. He got me the New Balance 890 v3 Rainbows in yellow:
He also got me an arm band for my iPhone. Now I have to load it up with tunes so I can take that with me to run. He said he tried to get me the wrap around the neck/head earbuds I wanted but couldn't find any. That's ok, I will have to find some for myself. My ears are weird. The Apple stock earbuds fall out easily as do the skull candy ones with the rubber tips.
So it was a good Christmas for me. I hope you all had a good one (if you were celebrating) as well!
Here's a pic I love from the trip home. I had another good hair day, lol.
ETA: that was weird - I came back to check something and my first two paragraphs were jumbled. odd.
That's my victory for the week, lol. I did a bunch of walking while home in Chicago. We went to the Brookfield Zoo Holiday Magic light festival on Friday and I got plenty of steps in there! It was so pretty - I think we might make that an annual event.
I can't wait to really start using our new Y membership. I found some classes that sounds interesting to me and that will work with my schedule. I can't wait to use the indoor track to do some actual running. I still haven't ventured into running outside in the freezing cold and on snow packed country roads.
I did get some Kohl's gift cards for Christmas that I plan on using for workout gear. I normally just work out in old shorts and t-shirts so being around the house in them is no big deal. Being in public is another thing entirely. My future BIL bought me my long coveted gym shoes. I know I will have a hard time bringing myself to actually wear them outside of the house as I want them to last forever, lol. He got me the New Balance 890 v3 Rainbows in yellow:
So it was a good Christmas for me. I hope you all had a good one (if you were celebrating) as well!
Here's a pic I love from the trip home. I had another good hair day, lol.
ETA: that was weird - I came back to check something and my first two paragraphs were jumbled. odd.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Shoveling counts right?
Shoveling counts as my cardio for the weekend right? I sure hope so because if not, well than I am in a very lazy rut right now.
I miss the warm weather.
Like, really, really miss it.
I have horrible lack of motivation syndrome going on right now.
I'm still doing well with managing my portion control so that is the one good thing. If it weren't for the sweets I know I'd see loss every week on the scale but as it stands, I'm simply maintaining my loss. I know that is still a positive thing but I know I need to do better. There really isn't an excuse.
I had a work event this week and I took these selfies to share with some friends and it surprised me when I uploaded it to facebook how many likes it got. K says that I need to shut up and do a better job realizing that I actually have been working hard and doing a good job and it shows. It's still foreign to me. It's weird to acknowledge the fact that you look better than you did a year ago. A year ago I looked like hell. At least I have the desire to continue this journey. There's no going back for me. I do not want to be the fat girl anymore.
Of course I'll share these here too:
I miss the warm weather.
Like, really, really miss it.
I have horrible lack of motivation syndrome going on right now.
I'm still doing well with managing my portion control so that is the one good thing. If it weren't for the sweets I know I'd see loss every week on the scale but as it stands, I'm simply maintaining my loss. I know that is still a positive thing but I know I need to do better. There really isn't an excuse.
I had a work event this week and I took these selfies to share with some friends and it surprised me when I uploaded it to facebook how many likes it got. K says that I need to shut up and do a better job realizing that I actually have been working hard and doing a good job and it shows. It's still foreign to me. It's weird to acknowledge the fact that you look better than you did a year ago. A year ago I looked like hell. At least I have the desire to continue this journey. There's no going back for me. I do not want to be the fat girl anymore.
Of course I'll share these here too:
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Race Plans 2014-15
Cross posted from my main blog There's No Crying in Baseball
I've spent the last few weeks picking out the races I want to run next year. I for sure will do The Color Run again. This is their 2014 Kaleidoscope Tour. I am not sure when/where I will run it though. I might have to shoot for Milwaukee or Green Bay because the Chicago date is 6/8/14 and Amarillo is 6/7/14. The following weekend is my sister's wedding on the 13th so that might be tough.
On top of that, the other June race I want to run is the Run for Their Lives PAWS for Chicago 8krun/4k walk. PAWS is the city's largest No Kill humane organization. I really love their organization and their mission. I would love to be able to do some great fundraising for this one. Last year it was the 9th of June and I'm guessing it will be the same weekend. I think I'd rather do PAWS and move my Color Run to a different city and date.
In early 2014 I think I will aim to do the Shamrock Shuffle 8k. I believe it will be held on March 31st. Somehow with a Wisconsin winter I will have to figure this one out. We rejoined the Y and they have an indoor track so I think that's what I'm going to end up using.
I will probably run the Ugly Sweater again since K said he'd do it if I want to again. My SIL said that she wants to do it for real next time and not bail again. So we will see on that one.
I feel like I need another run in there somewhere. After the Ugly Sweater I could throw in a Turkey Trot or a holiday run but come January 10th-ish 2015...I will have the Disney Half Marathon!!! I can't believe I am going to do it. But I am going to try my best to make this a reality.
I better start both saving and running even more. And investing in paper bags to breathe into. I foresee a ton of hyperventilating in the next year.
I've spent the last few weeks picking out the races I want to run next year. I for sure will do The Color Run again. This is their 2014 Kaleidoscope Tour. I am not sure when/where I will run it though. I might have to shoot for Milwaukee or Green Bay because the Chicago date is 6/8/14 and Amarillo is 6/7/14. The following weekend is my sister's wedding on the 13th so that might be tough.
On top of that, the other June race I want to run is the Run for Their Lives PAWS for Chicago 8krun/4k walk. PAWS is the city's largest No Kill humane organization. I really love their organization and their mission. I would love to be able to do some great fundraising for this one. Last year it was the 9th of June and I'm guessing it will be the same weekend. I think I'd rather do PAWS and move my Color Run to a different city and date.
In early 2014 I think I will aim to do the Shamrock Shuffle 8k. I believe it will be held on March 31st. Somehow with a Wisconsin winter I will have to figure this one out. We rejoined the Y and they have an indoor track so I think that's what I'm going to end up using.
I will probably run the Ugly Sweater again since K said he'd do it if I want to again. My SIL said that she wants to do it for real next time and not bail again. So we will see on that one.
I feel like I need another run in there somewhere. After the Ugly Sweater I could throw in a Turkey Trot or a holiday run but come January 10th-ish 2015...I will have the Disney Half Marathon!!! I can't believe I am going to do it. But I am going to try my best to make this a reality.
I better start both saving and running even more. And investing in paper bags to breathe into. I foresee a ton of hyperventilating in the next year.
Monday, December 9, 2013
The Prompt
It's only fair that I share some pictures to illustrate what prompted me to embark on this journey.
The first set of pictures fits into The Fit portion of this blog title. I apologize for some of the fuzziness of some images. I had to scan in and sometimes take picture of the pictures to get them in.
This was me ten years ago. Obviously not stick thin, which is fine with me. A little meat, softball quads and curves....but no fat, just fit. If I can get anywhere near this I'd be happy.
Oh, and politics aside - as I'm neither R or D - the last one in the first bunch is funny to me. My roommates in Orlando brought him from their home state of Texas. He was quite entertaining ;-) I love my boobs in that picture. My goodness.
In September of 2012 we visited my grandparents for a week. When we got back from vacation and I was dumping my pictures onto fb, I took a good look at a few that I thought would have been great. Except I looked terrible.I hated, hated, hated how I looked. I felt horrible about myself. I felt ashamed and depressed. How I could actually look like that in reality was so disconnected to the person I felt like I was inside.
Anyway, below is a little time line highlighting the lows I felt when I hit rock bottom (or top in this case??) on the weight scale. I suppose this is The Fat portion of the blog title.
September 2012
First was our tour of Lambeau Field early in the month. I think I purposefully hid my chin with my scarf. Ugh, anything to hide that!
Then came Easter later in the month. Another, "Omg I thought I looked ok" moment. I'd love to say it was the dress that's the problem, lol. Unfortunately not.
At this point I had already decided I needed to get serious. I was down about 10 lbs at this point.
A random day that I was trying to see if I could notice any difference.
Labor Day Weekend Door County
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